April 24, 2011

Finally decided to give this twitter thing a try (sound so old don’t I?).

Mostly tweet when I’m bored or maybe like when I was at Jordan Classic when there was a lot of down time, I could type into my phone in boredom.

FOLLOW it…lot coming up the next 3-4 weeks as I switch projects, go home , and stalk around a bit.


JBC – 2

April 20, 2011

Ok…so last post was kind of a preface to this one….I posted a short one to appease some of my noisier and more annoying readers…*AHEM Big Bird.

So…to Charlotte.  This was suppose to be a cheap trip.  Cheap flight, 3 way hotel room split, but a couple of complicating factors made it more expensive.  1) My stupid aforementioned manager who made it impossible for me to buy a return flight because he wouldn’t give me a definitive answer on when I could go 2)  our Jewish friend decided to be ….well a Jew and be incredibly whipped and bail cause of his girlfriend and  3) I got my phone stolen (more on that later).  So a cheap trip became a lot more expensive, but I needed some time away from work, a mini vacation to visit friends, etc so I was ok with it, especially since I had somewhere to stay for free for a couple of nights.

My trip started early early Wednesday morning after a not so very restful night of sleep.  I knew I was in for a long one.  I drove out to BWI to catch my 8am flight and got into Charlotte early.  I decided to head out to the hotel early since I knew a couple of guys (McAdoo and Beal) were in early and might be able to catch them walking around.  Turns out..I didn’t see crap for 2+ hours and ended up going out to get some food.   Course right when I walk back in I see two BIG dudes walking down the hallway into their lounge, an area I was NOT allowed to go.  Perfect.

My buddy BizzareGayOne came in and we put our stuff up in the room and cuddled for a bit.  He’s a bit chubbier than he use to be, so I find myself less into him, despite his youth hahaah….There is a sentence I hope my mom and close friends never read.  The hotel was set up weird.  The players lounge was the first floor kind of removed from the rest of the hotel and the players were being dropped of there in front of all the Jordan people, etc….and they kind of biaattchh about autographs.  The “goodie” room was on the 2nd floor connected to the players lounge so it was a crap shoot on who you saw coming down in the lobby vs who woudl go down to the 2nd floor and walk/take the escalators down.  We alternated between the 2nd and 1st floor and got the following (my totals, bgo got more than me):

Brad Beal 2/2

Myck Kabongo 2/2

Kyle Wiltjer 2/2

Tony Wroten 1/1

Jabari Brown 1/1

Sir’Dominic Pointer 1/1

Otto Porter 1/1

Marquis Teague 1/1

James McAdoo 2/2

Michael Carter Williams 2/2

Shannon Scott 1/1

Mike Gbinije 1/1

Khem Birch 1/1

PJ Hairston 1/1

Andrew Wiggins 2/2…look him up, he’s going to be the next big thing and he’s a stupid Canadian…BLAME CANADA! BLAME CANADA!!

So basically we went big game hunting (Rivers, Davis, Gilchrist) and whiffed on day one.

Couple interesting stories from day 1.   1)  James McAdoo teasing me for taking off my Duke Sweatshirt.  He said something along the lines of…”oh, I see how you took of your Duke sweatshirt when you saw me”…but it was funny cause Mike Gbinije (a Duke commit) came to my defense….got to love the rivalry.  2)  While getting Gbinije hotel security caught me on the 2nd floor and made a huge stink about it.  I was totally amicable at first, but he insisted on treating us like little kids.  5 years ago I would have been “ok” with this, but not now.  I put up a bit of a fuss (I was a couple drinks in at this point), but we complied and decided to live to fight another day.  I had a couple more beers, we met a Charlotte local and hung out before calling it a night and heading up to our room for another cuddle session.  By the way, don’t you love when your friends act like total douches when they are on their phones with their significant others?   The baby talk and all the III WWWWUUUUUUVVVVV you crap?  Gives me diabetic shock and makes me want to puke.

So, next morning we get our asses up early and start hanging out in the lobby again.  We weren’t able to get a ton of guys heading off to practice because they came out all at one time, but we had a lot of luck with them as they geared up to go visit Joe Gibbs racing (I was unaware that black people even cared about NASCAR any).  This is when we were able to get 2/2 Anthony Davis, who was actually really nice and the big white whale, 2/2 Michael Gilchrist.  He was actually very pleasant with us and asked for photos (at this point there had been 5-6 players who had wanted photos from me with Myck Kabongo being the most aggressive, etc).  After our little session going to the NASCAR event, we had gotten everybody on the roster and BGO was ready to go to the airport…so we had another little moment and we headed off to the airport together.

Non-JoCla graphing in the next post.


April 19, 2011



Ok…been a while since I updated…been pretty out of it until recently when I made the trek out to JoCla….or better known to the layman retard as the Jordan Classic.   I discovered this event almost 4 years ago in the NYC.  First year, there were some amazing players announced to the team, but given the HS rule that players are only allowed to play in 2 All star games, the field was watered down a bit.  That year Beasley, Mayo, and Love no showed due to their attendance in both the McDonald’s game as well as the Roundball Classic in Chicago.  That left the Jocla with Derrick Rose, Kyle Singler, Jarryd Bayless, Eric Gordon, and a lesser known recruit named Blake Griffin (who nobody really wanted besides a handful of us).  Seeing how nice some of those kids were and getting a chance to meet and talk with some guys like Patrick Patterson was a lot of fun and I have made it a point to go back yearly (though I skimped out on the next year, the Greg Monroe/Derozan/Tyreke year).   After the Chicago game went down, all the big names started showing up.  I’ve been able to get guys like Rose, Blake, Monroe, Jordan Hamilton, John Wall, Harrison Barnes, Kyrie Irving, etc while they were nice and giving out better graphs.  So, naturally, I decided to make it down this year even though they moved it down to North Cackalacky.

Despite the jackass manager at work (who is technically not even my boss because I “outrank” him and have more years experience at the management level, the only reason he is “lead” is because he works for the client and is not a contractor like I am) giving me a hard time about taking random time off, I was able to talk my way into a few days off.  I’m also finally switching projects which is a bittersweet feeling for me since I’ve been on this project for SOOO long and it has basically “made” me at the firm and given me an impeccable reputation within certain important groups within ACN, I’m also rady for a new challenge.  I totally plan to take a few weeks off to rest, catch up on some stuff that I’ve wanted to do, etc…

PART 1 FINISH….get ready for PART 2.  This was just to appease my starving fanbase out there….

Catching Up

March 24, 2011

Been a looonnnnnggg time since I last posted.  Sorry to disappoint my throngs of followers…all 1 or 2 of you.

So been a busy 2 weeks for me post bachelor party.  Between finishing up work for 4/1 go-live and my sister’s wedding, haven’t had a ton of motivation to get on and post successes.  As always, I find a couple of events here and there to graph regardless of where I am.  Graphing helps calm me down and distract me from the suckiness that is grown up life.  That’s what I tell people who make fun of me for doing it…at least I’m not drowning away my sorrows and killing my liver by drinking every weekend or eating myself into obesity.

Anyhow, post bachelor party a couple of good NBA teams have been in town, namely the Los Angeles Griffins and the Thunder.  I passed on the Bucks, which leaves my Marvel cover for them undone.  Did pretty well with those teams even though I had to put in a ton of time with the Clippers.  So first up was Griffin, which was on a Saturday without a shoot around, so I wasn’t exactly sure when or if he would sign.  Luckily for us, we were able to confirm that they had a Saturday night reservation as well, so we knew they were going to stay an extra night.  So, I sucked it up and went to try for them off the bus coming in on Friday.  The hotel was being incredibly hard and Blake ignored us.  Nobody came back out so I went home, but not after getting a parking ticket.  Stupid DC parking enforcement.

Went for the Clippers pre-game.  Big wedding that was going on at the hotel helped us out at first, cause they had to park the bus on the street.  Here is what I got off the first bus, remember no Eric Gordon:

1/1 Al Farouq Aminu 11×14

1/1 Deandre Jordan 11×14 personalized

Second bus decided to pull up in the driveway, thus making it THAT much more difficult.  At this point there are about 30-40 people waiting around for autographs and/or pictures of Blake.

2/2 Eric Bledsoe 11x14s

Blake, Kaman, Warren, etc all came out at one time and ignored us.

So..I was about ready to give up.  Didn’t want to put in any more time, but I was talked into going.  Sure enough, when Blake got off the bus after the game, he walked over to us and signed 1 each, actually giving us a decent autograph compared to some of the poo he was doling out in other cities.

New York Part 2

March 9, 2011

So…bachelor parties….I’ve been to a few in my life and they’re always interesting.  Almost all of them end up at a strip club in some way shape or form, but it really depends on the bachelor.  The tamest one I’ve been to was for a dr in training Duke friend of mine up in nyc.  The night included Karoake signing and drinks for a group of 4-5 guys, where I unleashed my Vanilla Ice performance on the world and showed my in depth knowledge of the entire Lady GaGa and Backstreet Boys catalogs (Don’t JUDGE).  At least I didn’t let out my inner Beiber-fever or Cyrus-Virus.  This last bachelor party was arguably the craziest I’ve been too.  Between the strippers peace-ing out on us early because people continually violated their rules ( 1. No Pictures and 2. NO INSIDE, which was violated almost immediately with a big black dildo) and the groom walking around NYC on a 30 degree night in nothing but a tie and pants, this was one crazy night.  Due to the UNC game, I was a bit late and was by far WAAAY too sober for most of the night.  I was sober enough to realize the scam that NYC Strip clubs are ($20 cover with a 1 drink minimum, which run from $10-20, and no water with $20 2-min lap dances not including tip) which SUCKS ’cause the only way to enjoy wasting money on lap dances from the quality of girl I can afford (meaning girls that are either noticeably past their prime, butter faced, chubby, or part of the itty bitty titty committee) is if you are at least somewhat drunk and have blurred vision.  At least the night ended somewhat early at 3am with chicken and rice from a famous food truck.  That stuff be good, though the hot sauce will literally tear you a new a-hole (more on that in a bit).

So, I get up saturday in my sister’s apartment obviously not feeling like a million bucks.  Awoken by the best man telling us to look at the monster shit he had taken.  He refused to close the door (my sister’s studio apartment is TINY) until we looked at his monster shit, which he claimed was the largest one he had ever taken.  So the groom to be took a quick look, a picture was taken, and many texts were went.  The two of them wanted to go grab a burger, but I decided to go back to my friend’s place to nap/relax.    My friends decided to go to woodbury commons for a monster day of shopping, but since I didnt’ wake up until noonish, I missed them.  Thank God.  Since it was a group of 4 girls, they ended up spending 12 hours shopping, I would have been MISERABLE, tired, and hung over.  But watching NY tv, I saw that St Patrick’s and number 1 recruit Michael Gilchrist were having a game in Jersey, right off of a NJ Transit stop.  I didn’t want to go, but certain douchebags that I know…ie, KESHEN nudged me into it.  So, I packed up some stuff and trekked out in the pouring rain.  The gym was freaking PACKED, but at least I was able to sneak into the gym for free.  St Pat’s blew out the poor team full of white guys (rule of thumb in basketball, team with most white guys not named Duke always score the least amount of points…).  I waited till after the game and was able to get Austin Colbert and Dakari Johnson (two top 10 kids in later classes).  Gilchrist comes out, I have perfect position to get him..and I can catch the 6pm train!!….but he denies me, telling me “I can’t sign”.  I follow him and wait until he’s done with an interview and ask him again..”I can’t, I told you that already”.   Figured I’d give it ONE more try with his parents, and his mom told me to go away and that he doesn’t sign autographs.  Defeated, I left and caught the 6pm train (oh, and by the way, I bought the extended battery for the EVO and it works great….I can surf/chat/play games without worrying about draining the battery).

1/1 Dakari Johnson 11×14, he’s not actually all that nice….but he did it

1/1 Austin Colbert 8×10, he remembered me from the last time I got him, since I gave his mom some photos.

This brings me to another Mike-ism.  I love f’ing around with the guys on certain message boards, posting false info/successes.  So many people on that board take graphing so seriously, it defines them.  I enjoy autographing and I make no bones about it, though only a SELECT SELECT few of my friends know to what extent I go.  But..if something else came up, autographing would almost always take 2nd-3rd-4th priority.  If family, friends, work, or something as simple as taking a poop came up, I would totally do it over graphing.  So, I messed around with some people on the boards and freaked out one of the more annoying guys, a 40+ year old pedophile looking guy from FLA who constantly annoys me with pms on my phone, oh what the hell….PSUGATOR.  After I got home…I too took a monster dump while surfing the web and took some pictures and sent them off to my bro and law and his best man.  I think my poo lost, but no harm in sending it out. Spent the rest of the night watching tv/ordering in with my friends.


Woke up early to work out, do some dry cleaning, call in sick to work, and buy some stuff for the wedding.  Headed over to the Jazz hotel and was able to catch a couple guys coming back from shoot, but missed the majority of guys.  Instead of waiting around, I met up with a friend for chinese food, since I NEVER have chinese food by myself, since I have major banana-ism going on.  Hit the Jazz pre-game and got:

1/1 Derrick Favors 11/14

1/1 Devin HArris 8×10

1/1 Gordon Hayward 11×14

1/1 Al Jefferson 11×14

1/1 Paul Millsap 11×14 (horrible auto now)

1/1 Jeff Hornacek 8×10 (I wish he played in today’s he could warm up or come out to that club song..”I’M HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY.  That would literally make my day every time I see it).

AFter that, hung around NYC a bit more, had dinner and awesome banana pudding, and made my way back to dc via mega bus.

All in all an awesome trip, though I spent WAAAYY too much money.

New YORK Part 1

March 8, 2011

So sick of the bus ride up to NYC.  Thank God this is likely the last trip for me in a long time.  I like New York, always have a good time there, but it is really expensive and hectic and the 8-9 round trip ride takes its toll after a while.  So, to make the trip more manageable and and easier, I decided to get up early hop a train to Philly and work out of the ACN office in Philly, since it is right downtown (walkable form Union Station) and only about 2 hours from DC.  Good thing was that the Minnesota Timberwolves (and the man K-Love) were supposedly staying at a hotel just two blocks from the ACN building, so I was stoked about being able to sneak in and out to do the team.  I got into Philly at about 8 and made a lap around the hotel and saw nothing, so I got suspicious.  I went up to ACN, hopped on my computer and did my 2 conference calls and then got a text from a guy I know in Philly that they were actually at a different hotel, the Ritz and that the buses were already loading up.  I googled the hotel and saw that it was only a 1/2 mile away, which doesn’t seem like that much until you start walking it in hard dress shoes with pants and shirt/jacket.  So I hustled over and saw a pretty big crowd and found a spot right by the bus door.  Philly graphers are notoriously brutal and they didn’t disappoint, giving me a lot of lip and even being downright rude when I offered up free help.  They hated me even more when I decided to forgo their rushes up to players and picked my spot by the bus door.  Going to practice I was able to get

2/2 Kevin Love 11x14s  (he signed a good deal but was only doing 1 per for people, I love being in different cities because i don’t feel as bad about being ultra aggressive, so I was able to get him to do the 2nd one too).

1/1 Mike Beasley 11×14.  He only signed like 3-4 but given my great spot by the bus door, he hit mine last and threw the sharpie back to the crowd.

1/1 Johnny Flynn 11×14  Still a really really nice kid.

1/1 Wayne Ellington 8×10

My success at shoot made me the target of much consternation and the philly dealers made it clear they weren’t happy with me being there.  Anyhow, I made my way back to work and met up with a friend for a quick lunch.  I made it back to the hotel for shoot around where I met another member of the Sportsgraphing board.  I’ve made it pretty clear my thoughts about autographers in general and how my perceptions give me little to no inclination to being friendly or nice with a majority of them, so I entered our meeting with some trepidation.  Turns out Zack isn’t a bad kid, despite being a UNC grad, but he is definitely a bit socially awkward and weird.  More on that later….

Bill Laimbeer 0/1  Still a total d-bag

Reggie Theus 1/1 8×10

Lazar Hayward 1/1 8×10

Nikola Pekovic 1/1 8×10

Johnny Flynn 1/1 8×10

Wes Johnson 0/1  Told us he was sick and couldn’t sign.

Anthony Randolph 0/1 Total Dickhead.

Kicking myself for not printing more for B-Easy or Love since they signed it up, but I didn’t know how much I’d be doing.

So back to Zacky Poo.  He went to UNC, so really wanted to get Wayne Ellington.   Unfortunately, Wayne was having none of it going to the game and this kid literally cried about it…throwing a hissy fit about being a fellow tarhole, etc…it was kinda sad.  Anyhow…I still maintain Philly guys are the biggest pricks and biggest retards of all the autographing groups I have ever met.  Total morons.

After that, I hopped back to work for a bit, grabbed some pizza and made my way to the Chinatown bus to NYC.  Chinatown buses are absolute mayhem and I was able to climb into an early bus sitting next to a dude who drank a whole 6 pack during our ride and was mumbling to himself the whole time.  Not fun.

Got to NYC and could have hit up some of the broadway shoes (daniel radcliffe who doesn’t sign photos anymore or Keifer Sutherland), but I took a big pass and dropped my stuff off at my friend’s place.  After rubbing one out (kidding, just watched Hall Pass), I met my friends for Korean food and then had a couple of beers.  Came back and slept.

Saturday was spent mostly sleeping and lazying around.  Got in a good workout in the am and then met up with a friend for lunch at some Cuban brunch spot.  Had suckling pig burger, which tasted a lot like regular burger, not sure what the difference was.  But it was a very good, gourmet burger, and the costs reflected that accordingly.  Then onto Duke/Unc game which SUCKED..we will NOT talk about that more.

Bachelor Party:

Crazy night of strippers, booze, girls, a bunch of dudes, and more strippers.  Not going to get too much into the details because of…plausible deniability.  Don’t want more than what needs to be out there out there.

I’m going to make this very bill simmons ish and create a part 2 when time permits.

Catching up

March 7, 2011

So, catching up on the week.

Sunday, did the Bulls coming in.  Got

1/1 Boozer 11×14, still nice as f@#$

1/1 Noah 11×14, nice as f@#$ too

Rose ignored us.

Was suppose to rain all Monday, so I was going to pass, but the clouds parted and I ran by and saw Rose standing outside and got him on my St Pattie’s day jersey, which certain people reading this blog poo-pooed, but it turned out GREAT.

Heard of a few decent names in town, ie Herschel Walker, Ozzie Smith, etc..but I couldn’t make due to work.  Next team in was the Warriors.  It was a total cluster f#$% cause all the players in town for the NFL talks were there (we saw Jeff Saturday and Drew Brees.  I SWEAR I saw Aaron Rodgers, but not sure about that).

Warriors were decent, despite the fact they all took one bus (minus Monta) and came out at one time.

1/1 Steph Curry on my Marvel comics cover.  He liked it and was talking to another one of the graphers who knew a family friend of his.

1/1 David Lee 11×14

2/2 Jeremy Lin 11×14, he wasn’t that nice.  I was kind of disappointed, since he is basically me with more height and basketball talent.  He didn’t loosen up until I mentioned that I watched him destroy John Wall in the summer league.

2/2 Ekpe Udoh 11×14, was really funny when I mentioned Baylor playing well.

1/1 Reggie Williams 8×10

0/1 Calbert Cheaney, missed him getting Lin

0/1 Monta Ellis, he ignored us and was the ONLY player on the 2nd bus.


Monster NYC trip for my future brother in law’s bachelor party.  Was able to sneak in some graphing as well.  I’ll update that after the trip is done.